Colour Me Blue

How can anyone tell that they've found their soul mate? How can someone be so sure that that person wouldn't just pack up and leave and let you be miserable for the rest of your life? What if that person would love you, give you the world, make promises of forever and in the end just trample on your heart and soul? No one can be so sure. BELIEVE ME.

At 20, I believed that I found the person who I would spend forever with. Who would cherish me, who would admire me, who would cling on to me... I stand corrected. Who am I to assume all of those? I was so lost in you that I didn't look at any of your negative traits. Yes, I knew of them but I didn't care. Just like I expected you didn't care about my faults. I was wrong again. Because at the end, you spat all those in my face in front of everyone. You were this great guy that everybody wants to hang out with, every girl who wants to be with and every guy who dreams to be. I don't know what I ever saw in you. Maybe I'm just that stupid. Like what you said ,"You'd just go for anybody who gives you the time. Oh and let's not forget about the money".

Who am I to grieve, right? Because at the end of it all, everyone's just gonna blame me for all of it. The deceit, the lying, the mistrust...all my fault. It doesn't matter now though. You've proven to me that there's no such thing as soul mate. Thank you for crushing that idea in my head that someday I will have that person who will treat me like I'm the one holding onto their string and if I let go, they'll not make it. You've ruined guys for me now. You've opened my eyes and made me realize that the people who I thought would always have my back, just left me like I'm a used rag. And if you didn't introduced yourself to me 15 months ago, I'd probably still be that carefree, untroubled, mirthful girl that I was before. Because now, I'm broken beyond repair.

All About Nick 1

I've been getting a lot of asks from Tumblr, which I rarely use nowadays, and haven't even seen and answered until now. So instead of doing a video and answering these questions (which most of you are suggesting I do), I've decided to just put it in here so that everyone (Twitter and Tumblr friends) can see them. So yeah here goes...

All time best friend?
~ Valerie Anne Duka San Pedro. We've been best friends since we were 14 and she's just the best friend I could ever ask for. She knows everything about me and vice versa. I would totes do anything for her.

What instruments do you play?
~ I play the guitar and I can also sing (I consider my voice as an instrument).

What’s something you’re not looking forward to?
~ Nothing really. I have no idea what's gonna happen in the next few weeks.

Are you seriously happy with where you are in life right now?
~ Honestly, I'm not happy. I'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else and be with someone else.

Do you like meeting people ~ I do like meeting people but I'm not the kind of person who attracts friends. What I mean is I'm not a people person. So I don't think people would want to meet me as much as I want to meet them because I'm just that boring! LOL.

Has anyone ever told you you had pretty eyes?
~ Is "you have really big eyes and long lashes" considered pretty? No, I don't think so.

You said you liked film. Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it?
~ I've been in both, behind and in front of it. When I was in high school, we did a lot of filming where I became a writer, a director and even an editor and I loved doing it so much. So I think I prefer being behind it. I'm really bad at memorizing so I don't think I'd be a good actor.

Places you’ve been to?
A lot actually. I can't even count with just both of my hands.

What’s the weather like right now?
~ It's pretty hot considering I live in a tropical country.

Songs you’ve covered?
~ I have tons. I have like more than 10 CDs with 12 tracks each and a bunch of songs in my laptop.

Concerts you've seen?
~ I’ve been to a lot actually but my very first one was Click 5. I was 16 and it was a birthday gift for me. Then there was Paramore back in 2010 and the latest was Lady Gaga just this May.

If you can go back to the past, when would it be and why?
~ I'd probably go back to my Senior year of high school. I'd make different choices and decisions.

Where do you like to be right now?
~ Definitely not in this pathetic place.

You’ve been gushing about On The Road for a while now. Have you read/watched it? Did you like it?
~ Yes, I've finally watched it. It's such an amazing indie film, not just cause Kristen Stewart's in it, but the story itself is captivating. I definitely recommend it to everyone.

How many countries have you been to? And where?
~ I've been to 3 countries. Obviously, The Philippines, Hong Kong and America.

What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?
~ Disneyland when I was four.

What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
~ Defintely Italian and Portuguese.

Do you ever talk about your issues to anyone? 
~ I do. I will not be able to sleep if I can't just let everything in my mind go.

Movie Review: Pitch Perfect

rating: 4.3/5

If you like Glee-ish type of movies well, this is a movie for you. Pitch Perfect is about a college freshman named Beca who wishes to move to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of becoming a professional DJ. But unless she joins an organization and experience college in an optimistic manner, her dad won’t help her go to LA. Looking for an organization fitted for her, she auditioned for The Barden Bellas, an all-girl a cappella group. Being in the group helped the main character to become more sociable while at the same time, she helped the group be stronger and have well defined singers.

The movie was based on the book Pitch Perfect : The Quest for Collegiate A Cappella Glory by Mickey Rapkin. It was directed by Jason Moore and written (screenplay) by Kay Cannon. Lead actors include Anna Kendrick (Twilight, Up In The Air) and Brittany Snow (John Tucker Must Die, Hairspray).  Musically inclined audience are more likely to enjoy this movie since the actors themselves covered all the songs ranging from the 80s and modern day songs like Eternal Flame, Turn The Beat Around, Party in the USA, Price Tag, No Diggity and many more. 

Realizing

I tried to be perfect but I just can't. I tried to be the girl who you once knew but I changed. We both did. You became too attached. I was getting scared of how our relationship was becoming too deep and I can't handle it anymore. I don't wanna handle it. So I left. The distance somehow opened my eyes and eventually my heart. And I gave you another chance. I came back and you were still there waiting for me. You were perfect but I wasn't. I'm too fucked up for you. I had others on the side while you had your eyes focused on only me. It wasn't fair on the both of us. You're the kind of guy who every girl is dying to have and at one point, I was proud to call you mine. But we both had issues. I wanted for us to go back to being just friends, you wanted more. Some were telling me how foolish I was to let you go but others were telling me to just back off and end all ties. And that includes my best friend, your nephew. I was hurting everyone. There were two sides though. There's MY friends and there was OUR friends. Of course our friends saw and knew everything that we've been through. They're witnesses of our fucked up life together. And then there's my friends who only knew what I was telling them. I had to pick one opinion. And everyone knows what "opinion" I went with. Now I don't know how to get things back to the way it was before we got together. Because I'm feeling all these regrets. Did I do the right thing? I probably didn't. 

Lost Hope: Injustice in the Philippines

Whenever America is in recession, they panic. It's like the end of the world for their citizens. But every time this happens, they're alarmed, they fire people, their government does something about it then they're on top of the game...again. It's a national, if not world, crisis. When the last US recession happened, everyone went ballistic. But the Filipino people only snickered at the situation. Everyone said "Philippines has been in recession for the past 20 years. This is not a big deal for us. We're used to it!" Yes, Filipinos are used to being a third world country. Filipinos are used to this kind of sick government. Why? Because no one is doing something about it. Especially our so-called "leaders". 

First, let's talk about freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. This is a great concern for everyone, not just in our country. We want to be heard. We want to be noticed. And if/when noticed, we want the people around us to also practice what we preach. And one way of being heard is through the world wide web. But this new law,  Cybercrime Law, limits the Filipino people of that freedom. What's the point of our ancestors fighting for our freedom if this one man is just going to take that away from us? It is inexcusable to take that away from us because THIS man made a mistake and taking his rage out on us. Because of HIS own mistake, innocent people are affected by it. His own form of damage control is preposterous.

Second, this gimmick wherein Filipino actors and illustrious people run for government. What do they know? They have their own opinions, we all respect that. But really, what do they know about the constitution when they didn't really study about it? What does a wife of a boxer know about it? What can a high school graduate action star do about unemployment in the country? How can a former bold star decrease the problem of hunger? They're only going through this for public appearance. They're not really concerned on the wellness of their people. In my opinion, they're the ones who pull the society down. We're already at the bottom as it is. We deserve a more befitting leader for the Philippines. Our current president isn't doing anything about, evidently. Granted, he's only in the presidential spot for two years but he was in the politics for more than a decade. He's more than knowledgeable on the subject matter. We could've picked a more suitable president but yet again, he's what the "masa" wants. This is why we're branded as Foolish Filipinos. I'm becoming less and less proud of being one. 

Akward Is Twilight?

                           

As everybody knows, I'm obsessed with Twilight (if you didn't, now you do). My life practically evolves around it. Whether it's about the cast, the movie or any other things related to it, I'm definitely in the know.

Recently, I started watching Awkward since everybody was raving about it. So obviously, I was intrigued. I watched and actually liked it. It's your typical high school drama with all the cat-fights and bitchiness, but for some reason, I didn't find it cliche at all. It was something worth watching and I definitely recommend for y'all to watch it. 

Well, since I associate everything with Twilight, I undeniably compared it to Awkward.

1. Awkward is a story about an awkward girl, obviously, while Twilight is a story about an insecure girl. Same-difference.
2. It both has a plot of a love triangle.
3. Guess what name they gave one of the main characters in the TV series: Jake!
4. Beau Mirchoff (Matty McKibben) and Robert Pattinson has the same shape of face. They're both panty-droppers (not really relevant, I just wanna throw that in). LOL!
5. In some way, both Jake and Jacob are depicted as boys who has so much to learn while Edward and Matty are full grown men. Maybe it's because in real life Rob and Beau are both older than the two. 
6. Both stories has a dramatic irony. Meaning, we all know who Bella and Jenna picks in the end! It's so obvious! 
7. In season 2 episode 11 of Awkward, my suspicions were answered when they did a scene where Jenna acted as a girl who is clearly confused between two guys who she likes, Matty as a vampire and Jake as a werewolf. Sneaky!
8. The never-ending plot of unrequited love.
9. The ugly guys both didn't get the girl (but let's just watch and see where Awkward season 3 will lead us). 
10. BELLA--JENNA... and I'll leave it to that. ;)

This is just my opinion though. Y'all can just ponder on it :)

Controlling Your Gayness

After church a while ago, we headed to Pho Hoa in Tomas Morato for lunch. While looking for a place to sit on, my grandmother noticed someone waving at us. It was one of my uncles who we rarely see. We chatted for a bit and then he and his kids left. When we took their table and sat down, my grandma's first words after they left were "Akala namin dati si Jerry magiging bakla." (translation: We thought Jerry would turn gay). I heard his story before; his life before he met his wife. He was moderate and restrained; "mahinhin" in Filipino. He was not your typical manly man. So I wasn't that surprised when my grandma gave that comment. But what really perked me up was when my aunt said "buti nalang napigilan niya" (translation: good thing he controlled it). I can't really say I was livid nor angry at this but I found myself defending the gay people. Being gay is not something you can control. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It's not a choice. It's a way of life for some people. And I commend those people who embrace their gayness.

So please don't just throw in your two cents about gays or lesbians without even thinking about what you're saying. They suffer too much in society in this day and age and verbally bashing out on them, whether they hear it or not, won't help too. It's already 2012 and they're still fighting for their rights. One can control being out and proud but no one can control being what they truly are. If they are meant to be gay, they will be.